My Life of Depression
by xXBlackBloodAngelXx
Summary: When Soul gets a girlfriend Maka gets depressed. Can everyone figure out what's wrong or will she fool them all until it's too late. OC CHARACTER. WARNING BLOOD rated T because i'm paranoid. This is Pugpie15 I just changed my pen name.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey... my 1st story Ohhhhhh yeah**

**Disclaimer: I do not not own Soul Eater *shoves maka in a closet* and I did not kidnap them *shifty eyes***

**Chapter 1**

_**Maka's POV**_

Just 5 more minutes. Just 5 more minutes, then I can get out of here. I can't wait for school to end...

…..Funny I used to love school and **HATED **when it was over.

Hey I'm Maka Albarn, You may know me as a peppy and extremely happy Scythe Meister for the DWMA , but that's not me not anymore.

See how angsty I sound. My point exac...

_RIIIINNNNGGG_

Ahh the bell finally.

"Maka. Hey Maka Makkkka!" A certain voice says.

"huh" I say, well I obviously zoned out again.

"I was Just saying don't wait up for me tonight I have a date with Cassie tonight." That's my partner and best friend (or used to-be best friend) Soul Eater Evans.

"Okay. Have fun I'll see you later" I said in a cheery voice. The one I've been perfecting for a week.

You see, I've been feeling sad ever since the incident with Cassie, Soul's new girlfriend...

_**~Flashback~**_

_I was in the bathroom when Cassie walks in. "Hey Maka I know your Soul's partner and all and I think we can get along really well if," here her voice turns evil, "You don't try to get in my way, and if you do this will be your punishment!" _

_After saying that she grabs my wrist and takes a very sharp knife out of her pocket and drags it across my wrist makin me bleed._

"_Everytime you get in my way, this will happen, now do us both a favor and clean up, ta-ta."_

_**~End of Flashback~**_

So far I had 6 cuts in a 3-day span...


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey I'm back ….**

**I want to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. Please let me know if you have any requests. And also how I did on th writing.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own soul eater *_cries herself to sleep_***

_**Blackstar's POV**_

It was just another ordinary day In my awesome life when I noticed something odd. Maka was wearing LONG sleeves. Now you may wonder why I the great Blackstar would notice little ol' Maka's clothes. Well, the truth is I'm a closet big brother. But not just anyone's big brother I'm maka's. Wahahaha.

"Hey Maka" I called out to her.

"Wha-at"she whimpers. I just don't understand it she just had this whole scared rabbit look in her eyes. It scares me a little bit, but I'll never let anyone know that I can be _SENSITIVE. _No anything but that.

I'll just go on with my devious little plan. "You know it's been a long time since we've hung out together, so i've decided you're going out for Ice Cream with this star after School today."

"O-Okay, see ya later."She says and then scurries along to class like a rabbit. There. That was that scared rabbit act again something's wrong and if Its as bad as I think it is Soul Eater gonna pay.

_**Maka's POV**_

"Hey Maka if you're not feeling good I can cancel my date with Cassue tonight." Dang he figured out something was wrong. I stood up Froom where I was leaning against the wall "Wellll," Out Of nowhere I saw cassie glaring at me so I said, "I'll be fine so just have a good night, plus Blackstar's taking me out for Ice Cream, he's been feeling he isn't being a proper _big brother."_

"I'm so sorry, try not to kill him."

"It's kinda hard not to, I guess I'll see you later, bye". And with that I went in the bathroom to meet my impeding doom.

"WHAT WAS THAT! He almost canceled our date because of you, so you know what that means...

**~TIME SKIP~**

I felt the three deep cuts she left on my arm. She was extremely mad. I hope Blackstar doesn't notice the cuts. "wooaahh"It I trip on a large rock and I just so happen to be on the roof of the DWMA. Suddenly I feel someone catch my arm. The one with the cuts. I slowly feel them start to reopen. I turn around and am face-to-face with none other than Blackstar. I hope he doesn't notice the cuts...who am I kidding I'm in deep trouble.

_**Blackstar's POV**_

I step on the roof just in time to see Maka Trip and start to fall I rush over just in time to catch her arm.

Being the mighty star I am, i'm more than strong enough to pull her up. "Hey Maka have a nice fall?!" I joked until with my heightened scences I notice something. "Maka Is that Blood..." "NOOO!" she answers a little too loud and a little too fast. Now I'm positive something is wrong. I slowly reach up and roll up her sleeve and see at least 10 different scars. "Maka have you been hurting yourself."

"No", at this she starts to cry, "Soul's girlfriend, Cassie, does this everytime she thinks I'm getting in her way. Please don't tell Soul I love him and can't stand the thought of being away from him. Please!"

"Fine, but on one condition. You stop her from Doing this" "OK deal"

**How will Maka stop her? Will Soul Ever find out Maka's love for him? Follow and Review to find out...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey sorry it took so long to update. Also, sorry for Maka being a little ooc.**

**Disclaimer:I don't own Soul Eater.**

_~Maka's POV~_

Oh...

Oh my...

Oh my God...

Blackstar, of all people, found out.

Well, I guess I do need to do something about Cassie. Ugh I can't even stand the thought of her. You know what I just realized something... Oh Crap...I just told Blackstar I loved Soul.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" oops. I guess I shouldn't scream like that, everyone's looking at me.

"Umm, Maka are you okay you were just randomly screaming?" The ever kind Tsubaki asked me.

"Oh yeah it's just I made a 99 on the test in Shibusen History why me!?" I lied. Wow. I sure have gotten good at that lately. "I finally met someone crazier than Patty." Liz casually responded. And then suddenly Liz gets a Giraffe frown at her head and Patty says In a cold, evil voice, " Noone can EVER be crazier than me! Got it Elizabeth?". "Y-Yeah sure thing Patty." Liz squeaks out. "Are you two done now because-I GOT A HIGHER GRADE THAN MAKA. YEAH TAKE THAT, THAT'S A 100 BABY!WOO-HOO!"

"I don't know how to deal with nerds", a scared Chrona says. "It's Okay Chrona just Tune them out when they nerd out." Kid says. And then they all start randomly talking about nerds.

That's good I needed time to think It was just yesterday Blackstar found out my secret on the DWMA roof. Even though we still went out for Ice cream I could still see that he was angry. His voice is still ringing in my Ears. _"Fine Maka, I won't tell soul but you better make her stop before I tell Soul __EVERYTHING__."_ That's just what I needed for Soul someone who will never like me to know I love him. I mean who would like me I'm flatchested, ugly, I have a horrible temper and am always Makachopping him, and not to mention I'm a nerd who never likes to do anything but study. I just hope Blackstar doesn't tell Soul. Speaking of Soul and Blackstar where are they. All of my friends are here, but then. That means that I have to deal with Cassie right now. It's a good thing it's lunch right now.

This is time she normally cuts me, so I decide to head to the bathroom and settle this once and for all.

I enter the bathroom, but I don't see her. Suddenly I hear " Hey Maka about time you got here are you ready for your Punishment? You know I now realize even if you wanted to you couldn't steal Soul from me. Do you want to know why, you're Anorexic. But I'm still going to do this because it's so fun." That stupid Cassie. I hate her so much.

" No Cassie I want you to listen. Soul is my partner and nothing else. So you better stop your crap or this will be your Punishment!" and with that I punch her, with 83 pounds of pure Maka, right in the eye. She gets thrown back a couple feet by the force of my punch. Ha Ha. Take that Cassie. Suddenly she looks up at me and smirks. "wha-"is all I can get out by the time she starts Crying. More like fake crying. She runs out the bathroom and I slowly follow her. The whole way out I have this bad feeling in my stomach like something bad is going to happen. As soon as I get out I see Soul holding Cassie while she's crying and I catch Cassie saying "-unched me for completely no reason." She did not. She did not.

She did NOT!

Suddenly Soul's head snaps up "Mak-" that's all I let Him say before I bolt out of the dwma and run home. Not caring at all that it's the middle of the school day.

**Will Soul have to pick between Cassie and Maka? Will they all live happily ever after? Or will Maka fall deeper into Depression? Find out in the next chapter...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Woo-Hoo I'm on a roll**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater **

_~Soul's POV~_

Why. Why would Maka do this. I know she's been acting weird, but that's still no excuse for punching Cassie. Cassie told me they've been getting along really well, but Maka acts like she doesn't like her. I look up to see Maka staring at us and am suddenly extremely angry. When she notices how angry I am she bolts. I try to call out to her, but she's gone before I can. I want to run after her, but I have to calm Cassie down. " Hey Souly", Cassie purrs " Since I'm hurt why don't we skip school and _do _something." "No I need to go talk to Maka." "If you leave to follow her we're over." she hisses. "Oh well", I say "You're too clingy anyway." and with that I ran after Maka. Well more like try to, her demon of a father caught me and gave me detention for trying to leave early. This is so not cool...

_~Maka's POV~_

I can't believe I did that. I was going to try talking to her, but she called me anorexic. Soul looked so angry. I hope I didn't ruin our partnership. He could be home any second, maybe he'll forgive me if I make sushi for dinner. Okay lets see. What do I need. Ican't believe I'm cooking raw fish. Well, better get this over with...

_~Time Skip~_

I made the sushi now I just can leave it on the table and sneak off to my room for the rest of the night. Right when I got to my bedroom door, the front door slammed open. "MAKA ALBARN GET OVER HERE, NOW!" I walk over to the couch and sit on it. "hi." I said in a small voice. "why?" was all he said. "I let her make me angry. You've probably noticed how underweight I am. She called me anorexic and I just snapped. I'm really, really, really sorry Soul." I let that hang in the air for 5 minutes and then I said, "I'll pack my stuff and leave if you want, but I really am sorry. I even made you sushi to prove it." He just looked at me and then said, " Thankyou for the sushi. You don't have to move out, but I just want to let you know we broke up. That, however doesn't mean I forgive you. Infact, from now on we are not friends only partners. Do you understand?"

"Yes I understand, goodnight Soul enjoy you're sushi."I replied, but he was already at the table eating the sushi. I silently walked to my room with a single tear running down my cheek. In my room I lay my pajamas on my bed. I walk back in the hallway, yell "I'm taking a shower." before I can stop myself and walk into the bathroom to take my shower. When I get out I wrap a towel around my small frame. On the way to my room I pass by Soul only for him to completely ignore me. I walk in my room and slowly walk to my mirror. As I look at my reflection all's I see is a fat, ugly girl with small breasts. I get dressed in my underwear and instead of my pajamas I put on a sparkly pink halter top and black skinny jeans and I topped it off with some silver pumps. I stood in front of my mirror again, but I saw an even fatter and uglier girl. I walk across the room and get the switchblade I sleep with every night. Yes, I'm paranoid I know. I sit on my bed and drag the blade across my arm. Blood trickles out of the open wound so I use my towel to hold over it until it stops bleeding. I throw the towel in the back of the closet. Suddenly realization comes to me of what I just did. I can just go to the store and buy lots of concealer and bracelets and nobody will notice. I quickly grab a light jacket and my wallet and climb out the window.

_~Normal POV~_

Little did Maka know she had left a blood stain that will come back to haunt her in the near future...

**Review and tell me how you want Soul to find out about Maka cutting herself...Wow two chapters in one night.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I want to thank everyone for all their reviews.**

**DISCLAIMER:I sadly do not own Soul Eater**

_~Maka's POV~_

It's closed...

The store is closed...

grrrrr...hmph

I don't really feel like going home...to Soul. He's probably still furious, but I can't tell him the truth. I just can't.

"Hey There, you're looking down. How 'bout we go get a couple drinks." a random guy says.

"But, I'm only 15."

"Don't worry 'bout a thing. C'mon."

"okay I guess a drink or two won't hurt."

_~Soul's POV~_

_*****Bzzzzzzz* *Bzzzzzz*_

What the- who could be calling at this time of night. It's 2AM. I answer my phone. " 'Sup?"

"S-s-s-soul. Can you come get me. Pl-please?" Surprisingly it was Maka. I thought I made it clear I was mad at her. "Why?" I say with venom in my voice.

"I was on my way to the store and it was cl-closed. I was upset that I-it was closed and this random guy came up to me and convinced me to get some drinks with him. We went to some random bar and I think he slipped something in my drink when I wasn't looking. I started feeling really dizz-zy and wobbly-y, and the next thing I knew we were in an alley way. He started tryi-ing to take off my clothes , so I broke his nose and crawled away. I don't think I can get home on my own." what, I may be mad but I don't hate her so I said "Where are you?" "I'm in the alleyway behind_ Dame de Diego_." "Okay, I'll be there. Just stay where you are." *Sigh* The things I do for her.

_~Maka's POV~_

I hope he comes. He probably hates me even more for waking him up. Heck, he probably thinks this is some sort of sick joke. He's always telling me how noone will ever wnt me.

"Hey Maka" Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. It's Sophie. " I see you met my brother nice job breaking his nose." I don't say anything. She starts walking closer to me and it looks like she carrying something. If I'm right it's a knife...Turns out I'm right. "Because Of you I have a black eye and because of you SOUL BROKE UP WIYH ME. I think I need to punish you one more time. For old times sake." I brace myself for the pain when she lifts up my arm. "Good the scars are still there." With that she starts dragging the blade across my arm. Then, Out of nowhere, I hear "CASSIE, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

_~Soul's POV~_

I can't believe I just heard that. I had planned on staying hidden until Cassie left, but she started cutting Maka. I yelled without thinking, "CASSIE, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

They both turn to look at me. Cassie with a deer-in-headlights expression. Maka...Well Maka won't look me in the eye. "You. Stay. Away. From. My. Partner. Got it?" I asked very slowly with venom in my voice. "...Okay..." she squeaked and then ran away. I looked at Maka and was about to say something when she cut me to it. "Can we go now." " Uhhh. Yeah."

We both got on my motorcycle, but Maka wouldn't hold on to me like usual.

As soon as I unlocked the door, she ran to her room.

"What's gotten into her?" I wondered aloud and then walked to her room and opened the door and said, "Hey Maka, are you o-WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

_~Maka's POV~_

After we got home I went immediately to my room. Cassie was bullying me and SOUL SAW IT. He saw me being weak. He must hate me even more now. Blackstar was wrong I do deserve the pain. I start taking off my clothes until I'm in my underwear. Then I get my knife out and start cutting my thighs, arms, and wrists. Then something extremely bad happens...My door opens and Soul comes into my room. He yells, "Hey Maka, are you o-WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING." I ignore him lay on my bed and start cutting myself again. He just found out, do I don't see a point in hiding it. "Maka, listen to me you don't need to do this to yourself."

I answer him with a simple "Why I deserve it?" I go to cut myself again, but suddenly the knife is forced out of my hand and I'm pinned down to the bed. "How long have you been doing this to yourself." he demands. "Just now was the first time I swear." he starts to get off of me then his eyes flick to a spot on the right side of my bed. I look too and my eyes get big. There's a dried blood stain. He tries again, "You wanna tell me the truth." I give in, "Tonight after you got home was the first time the other scars are from Cassie. And besides it doesn't matter you can't stop me."

The idiot then tries to threaten me. Big mistake. "Don't, make me call Blackstar over here." I'm so witty I reply to that with, "That's a great idea, call the guy who views me as his little sister over here, while you're pinning me down to my bed while I'm half naked. Yep definitely a great idea."

"Touche"...

**What will happen next?**

**Credit with the cassie scene goes to Lynn Beltran with a few tiny changes.**

**Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Review:Review:Review**

**Disclaimer: I painfully do not own Soul Eater**

_~Maka's POV~_

"Can you please get off of me?" I asked Irratably. "give me one good reason why I should."He said and then put more of his weight on me. "I'm hungry..." He sighed and replied, "Okay, but please don't do this again," with that he kissed the tip of my nose. My face went completely red, while he just laughed and said, "Just remember there are tons of people who love and care about you...Oh and by the way nice bra..." what did he just say. I looked down to see I was wearing a skimpy, lacy, sparkly pink bra. Oh crap. "Shut up, Soul and get out." I demanded. "umm how about no. Put your clothes on, because I'm not letting you close this door anytime soon. Oh and don't try to argue with me or I'll tell Blackstar about this or even worse...You're father." Dangit Soul. He got off of me and I got dressed. Then we both walked to the kitchen. "what do you want to eat?" Soul asked me. "Pasta...or a knife." I muttered the last part. "Maka." Then he was in front of me again. Oh great I thought he didn't hear me. "You need to stop this, what even started this?" Oh the million dollar question. There is another reason that nobady has any idea about...

_~Flashback~_

_It was an ordinary day. Soul was sleeping on the couch. I was actually done studying. So I decided to call the girls to see if they wanted to hang out. First I called Liz and Patty. "Hello?" Liz picked up. "Hey Liz, I was wondering if you and Patty want to hang out tonight?" I asked. I hear laughter in the background, but I ignore it. "Um..No,actually Patty's sick," I hear a high-pitched scream in the background, "I gotta go she won't leave Kid alone. Bye." That's weird I thought to myself. I decided to head to the mall instead, It was 3 o'clock. _

_~Time Skip~_

_I got to the mall and as I walked by the foodcourt. I saw Tsubaki, Liz, and Patty. But that wasn't what made me mad. Cassie was with them. I was so upset I ran home. I cried myself to sleep that night, and the next day they acted like they stayed home all day..._

_~End Flashback~_

Tears came to my eyes. Soul saw this and the next thing I know he has me in his lap nuzzling my forehead. That just made me start crying harder. "I really don't want to talk about it, Soul." I sobbed. "Go lay on the couch, we'll watch a movie. You said you wanted Pasta right." He asked. "I changed my mind. I want Reese's !" I pleaded. He sighed and said, "Fine. I'll be right there."

When he finally came in there he sat down right next to me and pulled me up against him. Dang it. I just know my face is red again. We ended up watching the movie Soul rented yesterday, _"Madea's Witness Protection Program"._ It was overall a funny movie. It cheered me up a little, but after it was over I felt sad that we couldn't stay like this. I want to think he likes me back, but he's just using me to get over Cassie. He noticed me being all depressing again, so he put on some action movie that I ended up falling asleep during.

_~Soul's POV~_

After the second movie ended I noticed Maka had fallen asleep on me. Heh, while she's sleeping, she's so adorable you would never guess she was depressed. Now you may be wondering, Since when have I, Soul Eater Evans, ever thought my Meister was cute. Well, I've actually likrd her for awhile, but I didn't really know what the weird feeling I was getting around her actually was. The first time I felt it was the second time we fought chrona. We were dancing in the black room when she stepped on my foot. It hurt really bad. I had grimaced in pain and suddenly our faces were really close together. I had this really strange feeling like my heart was beating way too fast. I didn't realize what that feeling was at the time but I finally did when I found out Cassie was cutting her. No, I just don't like my meister I love her. As I think this I lay back on the couch and pull her on top of me. I slowly drift off to sleep.

_~Maka's POV~_

I wake up to find Soul staring at me. "Morning Sleepin' Beauty." he says. That's when I realize I fell asleep on top of Soul last night. "What time is it?" I ask. "10:02, good thing it's Saturday." "Umm Soul?" I asked. "Hmmm?" he said as we both got up to eat breakfast. "Can we Please just forget about what happened last night?" "No, Maka If you ever feel like you need to talk to me feel free to talk too me, but no more cutting." "Okay, I promise I'll never do it again." "okay, I'm Gonna take a shower. Tell me if you need anything." he said and then went in the bathroom fully expecting me to be here when he got back. I can't live with him knowing. So, with that I packed my things and walked to the front door. When I got to the front door my last words were, "Goodbye Soul, I know you'll never love me the way I love you. It's better for everyone this way. I can't stand looking at you everyday knowing the guy I love thinks I'm an emo freak." I started crying and ran away.

**Anyone have any comments or questions. Review. Come on you know you want to. Also, tell me how I'm doing on my first story...Goodbye...For now.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everybody, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've been super busy. I'm really sorry. If you hate me then bad things will happen to orphans...**

**DISCLAIMER:I sadly do not own soul eater...apparently ATSUSHI OOKUBO won't sell stuff to psycotic teenage girls**

_**~Maka's Pov~**_

I can't believe it. I'm leaving Death city. I'm leaving my home. I just hope that all my friends will forgive me. I...I...I-what the...

All the sudden I was tackled by a very wet and a very _naked_ Soul.

"What do you think you're doing?" Soul was yelling at me. His beautiful eyes were flashing a deep Ruby Red color. "What does it look like I'm doing to you." I said more as a statement then a question. I continue, "Just leave me alone Soul!" "give me one reason why I should?" "well you are naked in the middle of the hallway, isn't that a little _uncool_?" "grrr...Fine then." he growls and grabs me by my pigtail inside our apartment and throws me on the couch. He then stomps to his room throws on some pants and comes out. "No you are not leaving me no matter what. Got it?." "You can't stop me." "What. Did. You. Just. Say. To. Me." He asked in a cold deadly voice. I've had it ever since last night he's been acting like everything I do is wrong. So what if I cut myself? It was either that or kill myself. He should just be happy I'm still alive. Finally I just snap, "QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME!" I yell. Soul flinches and takes a step back. He stares at me wide eyed, "wha-what do you mean of course I care about you you're my meister." He exclaims. I can't take it anymore I burst into tears and run to my room. I cry my heart out. I really want to cut right now, but stupid Soul stole my knife. I get out my Poem Diary and write:

_ I'm Running, Running_

_ Trying to escape this misery._

_ But, no one cares._

_ They may say they do, but do they really?_

_ How much more can I take before I fall over the edge?_

_ They say you can compare life to a field of roses,_

_ But every Rose has thorns._

_ I am the thorns of all the roses out there._

_ But who exactly are the roses?_

_ The roses are everyone that is around me._

_ I'm just worthless. A mistake._

_ Roses are so beautiful, but they have flaws._

_ I am a flaw to life._

_ At Flower shops they clip those nasty thorns off to purify the roses,_

_ I, as a thorn, need to be clipped from the roses of life..._

_ The world needs to be purified of this worthless Mistake..._

_**~Soul's POV~**_

What did I just do. I can't believe I made her cry. I know cool guys aren't supposed to get scared, but I'm just terrifyed right now. She doesn't think I actually care about her. I'm also a little angry, I have a scar across my chest from protecting her. How could I not care about her, I mean I'm always telling her...It's the weapons job to protect the meister...Oh crap I need to go apologize.

I walk to her room and walk in to find her sitting on her bed crying with her stupid poetry book beside. I still think poetry is so uncool. I walk up to her and sit down beside her.

_**~Maka's POV~**_

I put down my poetry diary and start crying again. Suddenly I feel a weight on my bed. I know it's Soul so I don't open my eyes. What he does next surprises me though: He pulls me into a hug with my face pulled into his chest,_ 'He's definitely filled out muscle-wise, for a weapon at least', _I think. It surprises me because he's never done this before. He's only ever put his arm or hands on my shoulders.

"Maka," he's says "I didn't mean that I only thought of you as a Meister. You mean so much more to me then that. I think I may actually like you..." He admits. NO HE DOESN'T. "No you don't Soul, you just feel guilty. I wish you did, but you don't mean that at all." I back away from him and wrap my arms around my chest. The next thing I know I'm pinned down to my bed with my arms over my head. "If I didn't like you would I do this..." and he kisses me. At first I'm surprised, but then I slowly melt into it. Our lips are moving in perfect harmony. I never realized how much I really loved him until this moment. He flicks his tongue across my lips and as soon as I open my mouth, I realize two things:

1)Blackstar is in my room

and

2)He is choking Soul...

OH GREAT

**Thankyou for being so patient. I know its been awhile, but i've been really busy lately. To make up for my lack of posting I added a little SoMa action and that nice little poem that I wrote myself. Please review and tell me how much you liked this chapter story and even that poem. I'll try to update soon, because I know how much I would wanna see the closet-big brother scene that will be in the next chapter. And I will also probably have something more about the poem.**

**XOXO A Puglover!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Disclaimer:I sadly do not own Soul Eater*goes on psychotic rampage***

_**~Soul's POV~**_

What the-when did Blackstar get here?

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO PLAY WITH MAKA LIKE THAT!" Blackstar yells. "let-go-of-me..." I manage to choke out. When he lets go I say "I'm not playing with her, why would I do that I just found out last night she's been cutting herself!" "What are you talking about, Cassie's been the one cutting her." "I know that, but I caught her doing it to herself last night." "I still say you're only playing with her." "I would never dothat to her, this is so uncool, but I actually love her." I notice Blackstar looking around, suddenly he says, "Where's Maka?" "WHAT"

_**~Maka's POV~**_

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO PLAY WITH MAKA LIKE THAT!" I ran out the door when I him say that.I can't believe it he was only playing me. I knew it was too good to be true. He doesn't really care about me no one does. Blackstar just forces himself to, because my family basically adopted him. Tsubaki, Liz, and Patty just pretend to because they're so nice. Kid hates anything that isn't symetrical so basically me. Soul just uses me to entertain himself. I ruined Mama's life by being born, and Papa pretends to love me because he thinks he can get Mama back that way. That's it. I'm sick of everything. I know what I need to do and this time I won't let Soul stop me. Yeah right, like he would even want to.

_~Time Skip~_

After coming to my newfound revelation, I went to the store and bought sleeping pills, razorblades, and two bottles of water. I want to die in my own bed, so I'm doing it as soon as I get home. As I walk home I think about how the cashier knew what I was buying that stuff for, but he didn't even try to stop me. When I get home Soul is sitting on the couch holding an ice pack to his face, but I ignore him and head straight to my room. I think he said something, but I really don't care. I go in my room and close the door. I sit on my bed and take the razorblades out of my bag. I slowly start slitting my wrists vertically. After that I take out the sleeping pills and water, but before I take them I say three things.

"Goodbye Death city." I down two pills.

"Goodybye World." I down three more.

And then I scream, "GOODBYE SOUL!" And down five more pills just to be safe. As everything Fades to black and the last thing I hear is my bedroom door being flung open and someone screaming:

"MAKA!"

**Sorry for the short chapter, I just thought it would be more dramatic that way or as Taylor Swift would say, "why you gotta be so mean".**

**By the way I don't own Taylor Swift or her song "Mean".**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 is finally here...Is maka dead?find out. As a sise note this whole story is dediacated to everyone out there who feel like they need to die because they're hurting everyone around them. That's not true though the only person that can hurt someone is themself. And if you cut or are contemplating suicide that is NOT the answer. If you feel like that talk to anyone you can and make sure they know you're being serious, If you do I garantee you will find someone who cares about you. Remember suicide is still murder...Thanks for reading3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater**

**_~Random Pov~_**

Once upon a time there was a girl. She was very brave and also very loyal, but sometimes if someone puts bad ideas in our head even the strongest of us will fall and crumble. This girl is a prime example of that. You see this girl, she was the strongest person I ever knew, but certain cruel demonic individuals put the ideas in her head that she was worthless, that she was just a waste of space, and above all by living she was just hurting the people she cared about. You see that girl was my best friend and the love of my life Maka Albarn...

"Maka, If you can here me, please, please don't die on me. I love you so much you're my Maka and I am your Soul..."

**_~Maka's POV~_**

What the- shouldn't I be dead? You can't think if you're dead. I blink as everything comes into focus. I faintly recognize the bright lights and the incessant beeping as a hospital. I slighty groggy, but as I try to sit up I register someone pushing me back down. I look up to see a man with the snow white hair and blood red eyes that i've come to love so much._ 'Great it just has to be Soul. I do NOT want to see him right now' _I look up at him and notice his face is pale and his eyes are pink and puffy like he's been crying. '_What does he not want his toy to die?'_

I notice his eyes widen slightly and realize I said that out loud. Oh well, now that I said that I might as well get everything out in the open. "What are you looking at? You know it's true. Was are partner-ship just a lie too? So how long have you've known I'm in love with you? I knew it you're not going to answer me, you're just going to stand there and look stupid. At least tell me this: why? WHY DID YOU SAVE ME? IS IT JUST TO MAKE IT SUFFER? IT MUST REALLY MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD TO MAKE SOMEONE LIKE ME WANT TO KILL THEMSELF. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOU SUCCEEDED AND JUST SO YOU KNOW I WILL KILL MYSELF EVENTUALLY AND WHEN I DO YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STOP ME!" Soul just stares at me and in a hoarse voice he says, "No you won't." and then he walks out of the room. I actually didn't realize what I was saying until after I said it.

Ten minutes later a doctor walks in followed by Soul. "Mrs. Albarn you do realizethe implications of what you just said to Mr. Evans here right?" The doctor questions. "Yes." I reply in a small voice. The doctor goes on, "Good, and because of what you said you are going to have to be put in a rehabilitation center. Under Mr. Evans supervision you will be allowed to bring liimited belongings. I'll leave so you can change and I have already made the arrangements for everything else. Goodbye and good luck." Then he walks out.

I look at Soul who says, "Maka I have never seen you as a toy, I am nothing like you're sick father, and the thing with Blackstar, he just didn't want to admit the fact that you could be in a relationship. I just want you to know I do care and my feelings for you are real. I guess what I'm trying to say is that i love you." I couldn't take it anymore i jump into his arms and kiss him saying "i'm sorry" and "I love You" in between kisses.

After we stop I finally admit to Soul, "I need help. I know I do, so please Soul don't give up on me." He just smirked and said, "It isn't cool to give up on the girl you love."

_~Time Skip~_

_'Well this it' _I think as Soul and I Stand in front Harmony Falls Rehabilitation Center. We walk in and the receptionist checks me in. "Welcome to Harmony Falls!" she says in a cheery voice. "Well this it," I say to Soul, "Promise Me you'll visit?" He kisses me and says, "Of course. Bye Maka." Then I watch him go outside and leave on his orange motorcycle.

"Maka dear, I'm Cindy. Please follow me to your room."

**Did you think it was over? Not quite.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Me no own Soul Eater**

****I Hate this place. I hate It. I hate it. The funny thing is I don't even want to cut anymore...I've only been here three weeks, Too. I don't think I can stand it anymore. After I got here they ran a full diagnosis on me. Apparantly, I not only cut, but I'm also Anorexic too. In order to get out of here I need to reach my goal weight of 120 pounds I'm 85 pounds right now, so I have a long way to go.

I'm probably not going to bee getting out of here any time soon. Ginger, my roomate, has been here since she was 13 for Anorexia, and she's 17 now. I've met people who have been here even longer than Ginger. Lots of them have attempted several suicide attempts in all the years they've been there. Before they can, though, the staff whoosh in and stop them. Just like me cutting off a kishin's head when i'm in a really bad mood.

Soul's kept his word. He's came to visit me every chance he gets. Before this whole rehab experience I've never believed in love, but I'm starting to change my mind. Soul refuses to go on missions without me. But because he's a Death-Scythe refusing to go on missions, He will never being able to become Lord Death's personal weapon. He understands the consequences of his disobedience and he embraces them. When he visits he keeps on going on about how I'm the only person that he will ever let wield him, and that he loves me more then I will ever possibly know.

Then He gives me the letters...

The letters are from all my friends and family. The only letters I ever open are the ones from Blackstar and Papa. Blackstar encourages me to try my hardest to get out of this horrible place so I will be able to bask in his godly prescence again. Blackstar may be an annoying Idiot, but you gotta' love him for it. Papa's letters mostly say how sorry he is he wasn't there for me and never noticed how depressed I was. Then after a page of apologies, he starts ranting about how It's all Soul Eater's fault and how he's apparently going to brutally murder Soul. Then, the next 3 pages are smearedink with the words 'I Miss You' orr 'I'm so sorry' written all over the pages. He's possibly the only person more annoying than Blackstar.

I glance over at my desk there are three things lying on it:

1. Everybody's letters

2. A sharp knife I smuggled out of the kitchen this morning

3. A pictue of Soul. My Soul 'Eater' Evans.

I think about taking the knife and just ending it all, but then I look at the picture of Soul. Maybe Love really is worth it. Maybe there really is something magical about Love that takes away all your worries and all your pain. Maybe Love really is REAL.

I don't know.

But the one thing I do know is I'll never find out if I end it this way. I slowly put the knife in the trash. I walk to the door of my shared room and walk into the bright light of the corridor. As the brightness temporarily blinds me, one thought and one thought only flashess through my head.

_'I'll be okay'_

__**Soooo that's the ending of "My Life of Depression". How was It? I'm thinking about making a sequel for it, but it will probably be a while before I do. I want your thoughts. Opinions. And wether I should make a sequel or if I should leave it like this! :)**


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